I lately shared one in all my most susceptible tales on the Empowering Ladies and Women to Thrive Summit on the United Nations about suicide prevention, to assist finish the stigma of suicidal ideas and promote extra loving compassion and acceptance.
This transformational occasion was supporting Sustainable Developmental Purpose #5: “to realize gender equality and empower all girls and women.”
The occasion deliberately featured girls audio system from totally different walks of life, representing numerous backgrounds, ethnicities, ages, and talents, with the widespread goal of providing options to world points girls and women face.
I labored as a speaker coach and story strategist with every speaker at this summit, guiding them to concentrate on the transformation they wished to encourage and ignite within the viewers.
Every speaker used my S.T.O.R.Y. System for Transformational Storytelling, an impressed method I’ve been utilizing for nearly twenty years in my very own storytelling and my speaker and writer teaching applications, and that I educate at conferences, firms, and organizations that wish to make a distinction and create significant change.
Ben Dotsei Malor, Chief Editor on the UN Information, addressed us as a visitor of honor, and attendees got here from a number of states in the US and totally different international locations, together with Panama, Nigeria, Ghana, England, and Canada.
As an immigrant and naturalized citizen of the US, it was humbling to be honored with The Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award, accompanied by an official letter from the workplace of The President of the US, a certificates, pin, and medallion.
I’m so grateful to be acknowledged for my efforts in fulfilling my mission to assist leaders harness the ability of storytelling to empower others to interrupt cycles, discover peace, and really feel complete — at houses, workplaces, and the world. Storytelling performs an integral half in suicide prevention.
After the occasion, all of the audio system and the President’s Volunteer Service Award honorees had been featured on a billboard in Occasions Sq..
Now I’m going to share the transcript of my United Nations speech about suicide prevention with you. My discuss was designed to assist anybody who has struggled or is at present combating suicidal ideas, identical to I’ve.
Suicide is everybody’s drawback and we are able to all have interaction in prevention efforts by studying to change into a SAFE particular person to so lots of these round us who’re struggling in silence.
My United Nations Speech Transcript
I’m executed.
I can’t do that anymore.
That is simply an excessive amount of.
What’s the purpose?
Everybody’s higher off with out me.
I’m higher off lifeless.
I used to be mendacity in mattress sleepless, trying up on the rusted tin ceiling, when these ideas confirmed up uninvited. I used to be solely 5 years outdated. And so they’ve by no means left me – all the time insisting that I’m a residing mistake making errors.
Ultimately, these ideas turned lively, after I began to go searching and fantasize about artistic ways in which would get the job executed.
The primary time I acted on these ideas, I used to be 13.
Mendacity within the hospital room, the primary particular person I noticed after I got here again to consciousness stated to me:
“Oh you’re alive…you may’t even do that proper.”
Now, I do know right here on the United Nations, I’m surrounded by individuals who intention to empower others to thrive. You’re most likely considering – I’d by no means say such hurtful phrases to somebody who’s in a lot ache.
I consider you.
And but … Most individuals don’t know what to say… so that they’d moderately not discuss it…
For instance, after I inform others I’m a most cancers survivor, their faces mild up. They ask follow-up questions and virtually bounce for pleasure.
In distinction, after I share I’m a multiple-time suicide survivor, there’s shock … and silence… adopted up by a change of topic.
Or they use default – and lethal- phrases like:
- Don’t hand over
- It can get higher
- Or one thing alongside the strains of “be grateful,” “depend your blessings,” “select pleasure,” or “take a look at the brighter aspect of life…”
What I’ve realized by means of residing over 4 a long time with each passive and lively suicidal ideas as my most loyal companions is that positivity is gas to the stigma of suicidality.
It makes us mistaken for one thing that’s not our fault and since what others advocate or prescribe doesn’t work for us, it reinforces the sensation that we’re damaged and that we’re alone.
Feeling unable to “positively assume it or pray it away” provides to our sense of defeat.
That’s why – for years- I lived trapped in my shame-induced solitary confinement,– typically obsessively searching for a treatment, typically desperately searching for a weapon.
Suicide is the second main reason behind demise for kids, adolescents, and younger adults worldwide. It’s pressing, it’s widespread, it may occur to anybody – it’s a worldwide human issue- and it’s everybody’s drawback…
One particular person dies by suicide each 40 seconds – and plenty of suicides are preventable.
As a result of proof proves that trauma doesn’t come from experiencing adversity, however from feeling alone in our harm.
In my analysis, I’ve confirmed what I discovered in my lived experiences: The best way we discuss suicide makes it tough to succeed in out for assist.
The phrases we use matter. And selecting respectful language round suicide helps us change into protected individuals.
Repeat after me: SAFE individuals SAVE individuals.
By studying to be a protected particular person, we are able to take away the stigma round suicidal ideas, lower the suicide charge, and assist individuals keep alive, as a result of they not really feel like they should endure in secret.
I’m sharing 3 straightforward pointers to decriminalize and destigmatize the phrase suicide and the expertise of suicide:
- Let’s keep away from the phrase commit. We aren’t criminals or sinners – we’re lonely, afraid, and feeling like suicide is essentially the most viable answer to seemingly unsolvable issues and insufferable ache.
- Let’s ban the phrase try: Staying alive will not be a failure, and let’s not ever suggest that suicide is a hit.
- Let’s cease speaking about taking a life or killing oneself: the insinuations that we’re not considering of others or that we don’t worth our lives are ignorant, inaccurate, and even insensitive.
Some useful options might be:
- demise by suicide
- suicide contemplation
- and searching for to finish one’s ache.
As a speaker, advocate, and writer, I encourage individuals to make use of my acronym SAVE to keep away from toxic positivity when somebody shares their ache:
S– Keep calm
A– Attentively hear
V– Validate their expertise
E– Specific gratitude for his or her vulnerability
You don’t should be a psychological well being knowledgeable to make a distinction. Holding area alone might be life-saving. You might be with somebody by means of their proverbial bridge till skilled assist comes. Saying the proper phrases may help them search and entry the proper instruments, assets, and security plans.
My invitation to you is: Subsequent time some shares they’re going by means of a tough time, don’t be optimistic, be current.
Make sure that they get a loud blaring message from you: “Your ache is legitimate, and it issues to me. You aren’t alone.” This protects lives – as a result of SAFE individuals SAVE individuals.
And to those that, like me, face these ideas at some point at a time, I share my agency witness … it’s okay to bop with demise, simply be sure you take the lead. Blessings!
I used to be so moved by the feedback I acquired from the viewers whereas talking on the occasion and after.
Listed here are some that stood out to me and that had been printed on retailers like ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, the CW, and Human Rights Immediately, in addition to different outstanding worldwide information retailers throughout Asia, Africa, and Latin America, together with my beloved homeland, the Dominican Republic:
“I used to be hospitalized as soon as on account of suicidal ideation and dangerous conduct 17 years in the past and I’m deeply into the message Dr. Fernández conveyed at this time. Very highly effective phrases.”
“Dr. Elayna’s speech was a couple of powerful topic going through so many members of society. Her private expertise was shared with susceptible honesty.”
“Elayna presents highly effective recommendation on coping with these considering suicide. Highly effective!”
“WOW! I’m grateful to Dr. Elayna for serving to individuals learn to assist people who find themselves struggling. I like that she shared easy pointers to de-stigmatize suicide. Sage phrases!!!”
“Dr. Fernández’s discuss made me really feel a lot unhappiness and likewise a lot hope. I’ve a number of family and friends members who battle with suicidal ideas and her discuss helped me see that there are methods I may help them with out inflicting extra ache which I used to be afraid of doing. Her discuss gave straightforward ideas and issues to do to assist our family members really feel supported throughout these scary occasions.”
“Her speech made me really feel seen and understood. Addressing the methods we may help these combating these ideas by means of Elayna’s options may very well be life-changing. Unforgettable!”
“Dr. Elayna Fernández is a victorious girl championing the best way for individuals to grasp stigmas linked with suicide, offers individuals permission to not endure in silence, and teaches us methods to be a protected and supporting particular person. She is a residing instance for us all.”
“Dr. Elayna Fernandez’s speech was not solely inspiring but in addition deeply informative. By way of her steering on the proper strategies of aiding others, she empowered us to change into SAFE people and actively work in direction of saving lives.”
“Elayna’s discuss stopped me in my tracks and made me replicate deeply on a previous dialog with a good friend who wanted a protected particular person to open up to. With the most effective of intentions, I noticed I wasn’t outfitted to be that particular person then, however now I can and shall be. Elayna teaches us methods to change into that protected particular person, empowering us to assist these grappling with suicidal ideas. Elayna’s message is an important name to motion, displaying us how we are able to really make a distinction in somebody’s life.”
“Elayna has the distinctive skill to succeed in individuals’s souls whereas delivering sensible tricks to change their lives. Affirming these of us who are suffering the illness of suicidal considering is important on the earth at this time to tell us we’re not alone.”
“Dr. Elayna’s heartfelt matter moved me to tears. I felt knowledgeable, convicted, and empowered to be the SAFE particular person she talks about. Sadly, suicide is a worldwide drawback and we can not afford to stay uninformed.”
“Her statements are eye-opening and her discuss teaches us methods to assist people who find themselves hurting. They’re in all places and could also be nearer than you assume.”
“Dr. Elayna Fernandez’s highly effective speech on suicide prevention not solely highlighted the significance of being a SAFE particular person but in addition impressed us to take motion and doubtlessly save lives.”
“I respect her vulnerability and openness to deal with the customarily neglected and stigmatized challenge of suicide. She educates her viewers on methods to be a protected particular person and supplies pointers for supportive communication, highlighting how we are able to all play a job in stopping suicide and supporting those that are struggling.”
I’m deeply grateful for the chance to deliver hope to individuals all around the world by means of my books, talks, and coaching applications, and to assist those that wish to do the identical in turning into transformational storytellers.
What resonated most with you about my discuss? To view the remainder of the talks, go to the Transformational Storytellers channel on YouTube, and to take step one in turning into a Transformational Storyteller, go to TransformationalStorytellers.com
Elayna is a single mother of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Pupil of Ache. She’s a bestselling writer, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 4x TEDx speaker. Founding father of the Optimistic MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share highly effective tales that can rework your outcomes, so you may have the wealth, alternatives, and freedom you deserve. Join with Elayna Fernández at thepositivemom.com/keynote-speaker and observe @thepositivemom. To obtain a present from Elayna, click on HERE.
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