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Feeling Misunderstood? It Might Be Your Myers-Briggs® Character Sort


Have you ever ever felt misunderstood when attempting to make new mates or meet new folks? You’re not alone. Many people are struggling to search out real friendships, and sure persona sorts wrestle greater than others!

I at all times questioned which sorts felt probably the most misunderstood or struggled probably the most with attempting to get to know new folks. I had my concepts and theories, particularly after a few years of working as an MBTI® practitioner. However I wished to place my concepts to the take a look at, so I carried out a survey of over 85,000 people from numerous backgrounds, together with my electronic mail listing, social media followers, purchasers, and mates. The outcomes had been eye-opening and make clear the struggles numerous persona sorts face when attempting to attach with others.

I obtained 4,862 responses to my friendship survey. The bulk (79.76%) had been feminine, 18.62% had been male, 0.94% selected to not reply, and 0.67% recognized as non-binary. The age distribution of respondents was as follows:

  • 24.29% had been between 45-54 years previous.
  • 19.97% had been between 55-64 years previous.
  • 17.81% had been between 35-44 years previous.
  • 17.68% had been 65+ years previous.
  • 7.02% had been between 18-24 years previous.
  • 6.34% had been between 25-34 years previous.
  • 6.07% had been between 0-17 years previous.

Unsure what your persona kind is? Take our new persona questionnaire right here. Or you’ll be able to take the official MBTI® right here.

Estimated studying time: 15 minutes

Introversion and Instinct: The Double Whammy

The survey revealed a robust correlation between introversion and emotions of being misunderstood. A whopping 65.57% of introverts reported regularly feeling misunderstood, in comparison with simply 27.19% of extroverts. Moreover, people with an Intuitive choice additionally felt extra misunderstood (52.61%) in comparison with these with a Sensing choice (40.15%).

Why Introverts and Intuitives Really feel Misunderstood

There are a selection of the explanation why introverts and people with an Intuitive choice would possibly really feel extra misunderstood in social interactions. Introverts, by nature, are usually extra reserved and fewer prone to provoke conversations. They want extra time to course of earlier than they converse, which might make it difficult to attach with others in informal settings. Their choice for depth over breadth implies that introverts would possibly wrestle to search out like-minded people or would possibly take a look at of social engagements as a result of carrying out their social battery sooner than their extroverted counterparts.

For Intuitives, the problem lies of their tendency to give attention to summary ideas and future prospects. They typically take pleasure in discussing theories, concepts, and intangible ideas, which might typically come throughout as impractical or overly complicated to these with a Sensing choice, who’re extra grounded within the right here and now. This distinction in communication kinds can result in misunderstandings and a way of disconnect.

Each introverts and Intuitives may also really feel misunderstood as a result of their preferences are much less widespread. Nearly all of the inhabitants tends to lean in the direction of extroversion and Sensing, making it tougher for introverts and Intuitives to search out individuals who “get” them. This rarity can additional exacerbate emotions of alienation and problem in forming new friendships.

The Myers-Briggs® Character Sorts, from Least to Most Misunderstood

1. ESFP (1.50% Really feel Misunderstood)

Only 1.50% of ESFPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new peopleOnly 1.50% of ESFPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

ESFPs are the least prone to really feel misunderstood, with just one.50% answering “Sure” to the query, “Do you regularly really feel misunderstood when attempting to get to know folks?” They have an inclination to take life by the horns, adapting to new conditions, thriving on the frenzy of assembly new folks from a wide range of walks of life. “I do know I’m not everybody’s cup of tea,” stated one ESFP within the survey, “however I don’t let it get to me.

Discover out extra about ESFPs: 24 Indicators That You’re an ESFP, the Champion Character Sort

2. ESTP (14.29% Really feel Misunderstood)

14.29% of ESTPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people14.29% of ESTPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“I simply don’t actually care if an individual doesn’t like me or misunderstands me. That’s their loss. So it in all probability simply doesn’t follow me in the event that they do.” – ESTP from survey

ESTPs, like ESFPs, are sociable and sometimes have a captivating method about them. Attending to know folks, participating in informal dialog, cracking jokes, and making folks really feel comfy have a tendency to come back simply to them. That stated, typically they will wrestle to succeed in depth of their conversations or their bluntness can flip folks off.

“I’ve a darkish humorousness and typically it appears to confuse some folks.”

3. ENTP (16.67% Really feel Misunderstood)

16.67% of ENTPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people16.67% of ENTPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“I really feel like I’m simply bizarre! Maybe as a result of I’m a feminine ENTP and don’t assume, really feel or act like a stereotypical feminine. Individuals additionally typically assume I don’t need nearer relationships, however I do.”

ENTPs are quick-witted and luxuriate in mental debates, which might typically be misinterpreted however usually, they join properly with others. Only a few stated they really feel regularly misunderstood. People who did stated that it was primarily with Sensing sorts who they felt lacked curiosity of their concepts, theories, or mental musings.

4. ESFJ (29.41% Really feel Misunderstood)

29.41% of ESFJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people29.41% of ESFJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“Some folks see my openness as pushy or forceful.”

ESFJs are heat, social, and desperate to please, which frequently helps them join with folks and make impression. Because of their highly-developed Extraverted Feeling, they will simply gauge the emotional dynamics round them and the nuanced wishes of others. Making impression, sparking pleasant chit-chat, and making others really feel welcomed and appreciated is a expertise they’ve in abundance.

5. ENFJ (34.62% Really feel Misunderstood)

34.62% of ENFJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people34.62% of ENFJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“Some folks assume I’m flirting or too ahead once I’m simply being pleasant.”

ENFJs are pure leaders and communicators, however their depth of processing can typically result in misunderstandings. As Intuitives, they take pleasure in depth of dialog greater than breadth of dialog. They need intimate, genuine friendships the place deeper ideas may be explored and new insights may be found. That stated, due to Extraverted Feeling, ENFJs have a simple time gauging how folks really feel and making impression socially more often than not.

6. ESTJ (36.36% Really feel Misunderstood)

36.36% of ESTJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people36.36% of ESTJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“They assume I’m being impolite, and any time I hear it or hear that I rubbed them the flawed method, it at all times catches me off guard and feels awkward. I can’t work out why. Possibly it’s my tone? Individuals say I’m blunt quite a bit, however I legitimately wrestle with being roundabout with issues or cushioning them. It looks like I’m short-circuiting once I strive.”

Easy and gregarious, ESTJs typically discover that their direct communication type may be misinterpreted as harsh or insensitive. They worth effectivity and readability, which typically comes throughout as overly blunt to others who might favor a extra nuanced strategy. Whereas they could really feel misunderstood as a result of their no-nonsense angle, they nonetheless are likely to really feel extra typically understood than not, with 63.64% saying they don’t typically really feel misunderstood when attending to know folks.

Get to know extra concerning the ESTJ: 10 Issues You Crave Each Day as an ESTJ Character Sort

7. ENFP (39.71% Really feel Misunderstood)

39.71% of ENFPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people39.71% of ENFPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“I really feel like folks mistake me as at all times blissful and carefree and possibly even a bit flimsy, however I’m far more than that – I simply don’t need to speak in confidence to them.” – ENFP from survey

ENFPs are identified for his or her energetic and enthusiastic nature, but this will typically result in misinterpretation. Some folks assume they’re flirting after they’re not, or they assume they’re “at all times blissful” and even “flaky.” They’re deeply intuitive and summary thinkers, typically entertaining controversial or thought-provoking concepts that may puzzle different sorts.

“I’m fairly intuitive and summary and don’t match the mildew. I’m whimsical. Individuals don’t perceive my power.”

“They misunderstand my motivations and don’t assume I’m real.”

8. ENTJ (45% Really feel Misunderstood)

45% of ENTJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people45% of ENTJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“I’m each pleasant and direct. Most individuals can’t reconcile the 2 points.”

ENTJs are the quintessential leaders, identified for his or her confidence and imaginative and prescient. They typically discover themselves in positions of authority and thrive on setting and reaching formidable objectives. Nevertheless, their easy and blunt communication type can typically be perceived as intimidating or overwhelming, main others to misinterpret their intent. Whereas 45% of ENTJs report feeling regularly misunderstood, this typically stems from their bluntness and assertiveness, which may be misinterpreted by those that favor a extra light or oblique strategy.

“I’m too direct for some of us.”

“I’m an ENTJ.  It comes with the territory.”

Uncover extra about ENTJs: How ENTJs Say “I Love You”

9. ISFJ (48.72% Really feel Misunderstood)

48.72% of ISFJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people48.72% of ISFJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“They’re assembly my nervousness the primary time they meet me and never my true persona.”

ISFJs are usually heat and caring folks, however additionally they put on out socially sooner than their extroverted counterparts. They crave sturdy, acquainted, reliable relationships and may take some time to really feel comfy with new folks. I’ve a tough time being listened to, so folks don’t actually know me” stated one ISFJ within the survey. Many ISFJs really feel misunderstood as a result of their quiet and reserved nature may be misinterpreted as aloofness or disinterest. “I’m not a snob however quiet, and folks misunderstand that.” Although 48.72% of ISFJs report feeling regularly misunderstood, their regular and reliable nature typically means they’re appreciated as soon as actually identified.

Discover out extra about ISFJs: Diving Deep Into the ISFJ Character Sort

10. ISTJ (61.76% Really feel Misunderstood)

61.76% of ISTJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people61.76% of ISTJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“I typically come off as self-confident however aloof or reserved; in actuality, I’m fairly shy.”

ISTJs are devoted, thorough, and dependable by nature. Nevertheless, their reserved demeanor can typically be misconstrued as aloofness or vanity. Many ISTJs talked about that their quietness is commonly mistaken for vanity, with one stating, “Individuals typically see me as standoffish and delinquent, when in actuality I’m simply extra comfy watching and listening as a substitute of speaking.” This could result in misunderstandings, notably for many who rely closely on social cues and emotional expressions. Regardless of being misunderstood, their reliability and dedication typically turn out to be obvious with time, together with their typically quirky and hilarious humorousness.

Inquisitive about ISTJs? Learn: The Childhood Struggles of ISTJs

11. ISFP (62.50% Really feel Misunderstood)

62.50% of ISFPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people62.50% of ISFPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“I’m informed I come throughout as aloof, brainy, and distant. Being unhealthy at small discuss doesn’t assist. However I’m really very heat and caring.”

ISFPs typically seem aloof, quiet, and reserved, which many individuals misunderstand as being conceited, snobby, or disinterested. But ISFPs are wonderful listeners and are sometimes fairly light and considerate folks. Dario Nardi, a former UCLA professor and neuroscience knowledgeable, stated in his ebook Neuroscience of Character that ISFPs hear with their entire mind and are sometimes “the consummate listeners.” One ISFP shared, “My communication type is commonly misconstrued as frank or passive-aggressive once I don’t hypermanage the tone of my voice.” One other stated, “I’m humorous :)) Nevertheless it’s onerous to goof off with somebody I don’t know properly. I believe lots of people assume I’m ALWAYS reserved.” They’re in reality keenly observant and luxuriate in real, deep connections, typically showcasing a quiet, cheerfully darkish humorousness and a penchant for the ridiculous. These traits spotlight the complexity and heat beneath their reserved exterior.

You could find out extra about ISFPs: Why ISFPs Battle with Loneliness, and The best way to Cope

12. INTP (62.89% Really feel Misunderstood)

62.89% of INTPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people62.89% of INTPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“It’s troublesome for me to specific myself or get folks to grasp what I say.”

INTPs are identified for his or her rationality, skepticism, and analytical prowess, typically excelling in fields that require deep pondering and problem-solving. Nevertheless, their pure inclination in the direction of skepticism and their quiet nature may be misconstrued as insensitivity, coldness, or an absence of curiosity. “If I’m quiet, it means I’m pondering, not ignoring you,” defined one INTP. Regardless of their sturdy need for friendships and significant connections, the hassle required to gauge others’ feelings and have interaction in small discuss can really feel overwhelming. One INTP articulated this wrestle: “I’m unsure I perceive myself. How might others?” This inside complexity typically results in a sense of being misunderstood.

Discover out extra about INTPs: Exploring 15 Iconic INTP Characters

13. ISTP (66.67% Really feel Misunderstood)

66.67% of ISTPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people66.67% of ISTPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“I like to look at once I first meet somebody, which doesn’t imply I’m uninterested.”

ISTPs are quiet, analytical, and concise, not losing phrases on meaningless chatter. This pragmatic strategy may be mistaken for insensitivity, disinterest, and even vanity. One ISTP famous, “My stoic demeanor will get mistaken for conventionality.” One other ISTP stated, “I simply need to see what individuals are about first earlier than sharing issues about myself.” Even contemplating these misconceptions, ISTPs have a way of journey, curiosity, and enjoyable that may draw folks in.

Uncover extra about ISTPs: 24 Indicators That You’re an ISTP, the Vigilante Character Sort

14. INFP (71.59% Really feel Misunderstood)

71.59% of INFPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people71.59% of INFPs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“I’m much more quirky than most individuals. I attempt to act ‘regular’ however folks know straight away that I’m not like them.”

INFPs are identified for his or her offbeat, quirky, and kooky nature, typically embracing unconventional methods of pondering and being. Their wealthy inside world and imaginative minds could make them seem complicated or uncommon to others. “When assembly new folks, I’ve to behave ‘regular’. They assume I’m or that I needs to be regular. When really I’m fairly bizarre,” one INFP shared candidly. Their distinctive perspective and distinct lifestyle can typically end in emotions of isolation, as others would possibly discover it difficult to attach with them on a deeper degree. “They assume that I’m unapproachable,” one other INFP mirrored. Regardless of their need for significant connections, many INFPs really feel misunderstood as a result of they typically have to “placed on an act” to be accepted. Their unconventional humor and completely different method of expressing themselves can lead folks to understand them as troublesome to narrate to, which solely reinforces their sense of being an outsider.

Learn Extra About INFPs: 10 Issues You Crave Each Day as an INFP Character Sort

15. INTJ (74.34% Really feel Misunderstood)

74.34% of INTJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people74.34% of INTJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“Individuals typically mistake my depth and mental curiosity for vanity or judgment.”

INTJs are extremely analytical, reserved, and fiercely impartial, however folks typically interpret this as them being snobby, conceited, or disinterested. “I’m intense and bore simply with nonsense speaking,” one INTJ shared, capturing a sentiment echoed by many others. Due to their authoritative presence and visionary nature, they’re typically seen as intimidating, bossy, or unapproachable. “After attending to know folks, they typically inform me they didn’t like me from the primary second they noticed me just because I stroll into the room with authority they usually assume I’m simply bossy and intimidating,” one INTJ famous.

This notion could make it difficult for INTJs to kind connections, regardless that they yearn for relationships which are each intellectually and emotionally fulfilling. “Simply because I’m good and impartial doesn’t imply I don’t need relationships,” an INTJ commented on the survey. “I get the impression folks really feel I’m judging them. I’m not, I’m genuinely curious. I need to know what their processes had been in selecting one thing. I believe they’d favor it if I validated fairly than questioned” added one other INTJ.

In one other current survey, I found that INTJs wrestle probably the most to search out individuals who share their pursuits. Regardless of these challenges, their real curiosity and need to grasp others spotlight the depth and thoughtfulness behind their typically misunderstood exterior.

Inquisitive about INTJs? Learn: 10 Issues You Crave Each Day as an INTJ Character Sort

16. INFJ (76.13% Really feel Misunderstood)

76.13% of INFJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people76.13% of INFJs feel misunderstood when trying to get to know new people

“My perspective is usually a bit too philosophical or theoretical for folks to attach with.”

Sadly, INFJs had been the kind who was most definitely to really feel misunderstood when attending to know folks. These “Mystics” are identified for his or her deep pondering, instinct, and empathy. For them, understanding patterns, meanings, and the general objective of life is a driving pressure. But their philosophical or thought-provoking views can typically be troublesome for others to know or relate to. “My being quiet doesn’t imply I don’t have ideas or opinions, or that I’m a snob. I would like to check my environment and the folks in it earlier than revealing elements of myself. I’m very non-public,” one INFJ expressed.

This tendency to look at and mirror earlier than opening up may be mistaken for aloofness or disinterest, when in actuality, INFJs are deeply within the folks round them. However they discover superficial interactions draining and like to hunt out genuine, significant connections. “I’m not fascinated by superficiality,” one other INFJ defined. Many INFJs really feel that their introversion is perceived as an absence of persona, particularly as a result of it takes time for them to turn out to be socially comfy. “Who I actually am inside. It looks like every part is so floor on a regular basis. It’s irritating,” famous an INFJ, highlighting the inner wrestle that many INFJs face when making new friendships.

Uncover extra about INFJs: 12 Wonderful Fictional INFJs

What Are Your Ideas?

What’s your expertise like whenever you attempt to make new mates? Is it difficult or straightforward? What recommendation would you give to different individuals who share your persona kind? Tell us within the feedback!

Uncover much more about your persona kind in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Energy of Character Sort,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You may also join with me through FbInstagram, or Twitter!

Discovering You eBook about the 16 Myers-Briggs Personality TypesDiscovering You eBook about the 16 Myers-Briggs Personality Types

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