Enneagram 4 vs 5: Which Are You?

Undecided if you happen to’re an Enneagram 4 or an Enneagram 5? Then you definately’re in the best place! As an Enneagram coach I’ve encountered this concern with shoppers time and time once more. Each sorts look related at first look! They’re each introspective, individualistic, and withdrawn. However whereas they may seem related, their deeper motivations and methods of referring to the world are wildly totally different.

Let’s dive into the important thing variations that will help you resolve which kind resonates with you extra.

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4 vs 5: Which Matches You Finest?

First, let’s check out their Facilities of Intelligence. Every Enneagram sort belongs to considered one of three facilities (Head, Physique, Coronary heart). After we know which heart they reside in we are able to higher grasp their motivations!

Enneagram 4 belongs to the Coronary heart Triad.

Fours are emotionally pushed and give attention to id, private significance, and self-expression. Passionate and intense, they direct their consideration inwards to seek out out what drives them, what stirs their soul, and who they’re on a core stage. Their core wrestle is with disgrace—the concern that they lack one thing important that others possess. As a 4 myself I can attest to this. We are likely to really feel like we’re outsiders and that others someway are higher at “becoming in” with the world than we’re.

To compensate, Fours steer their focus in direction of being distinctive and genuine. In any case, if nobody goes to “get” them regardless of how exhausting they fight, why trouble attempting to faux anymore? They really feel their feelings deeply and infrequently create that means out of their private experiences, which may manifest of their artwork, relationships, writing, and even profession selections. Fours are on a quest to seek out and categorical their individuality, usually worrying that they’re basically flawed or totally different from others.

Enneagram 5 belongs to the Head Triad.

Fives are mentally pushed and give attention to data, understanding, and self-sufficiency. Their core wrestle is with concern—particularly, the concern of being overwhelmed by the calls for and feelings of others. If somebody barges in on a 5, I can assure the 5’s coronary heart charge goes by way of the roof, not as a result of they have been caught doing something dangerous, however as a result of their quiet interior sanctum was unceremoniously destroyed.

To deal with this, Fives withdraw into their minds, gathering info and conserving their vitality. They try for independence and privateness, usually believing that they should defend their interior sources by sustaining distance from others. Whereas Fours delve into feelings, Fives retreat into mind and statement.

Motivations: What Drives Every Sort?

At their core, Fours are motivated by a need to find and categorical their true id. They wish to be seen and understood for who they really are and should really feel a relentless sense of eager for one thing they will’t fairly grasp—a deeper connection, a misplaced very best, or an elusive sense of success. They might discover themselves dreaming of a perfect accomplice who will lastly see and admire them for who they are surely. Or they could write poems or music that replicate an interior craving to be understood. Whereas some individuals mock this tendency, it usually comes from a childhood the place they felt misunderstood, misplaced, and even chastized for who they have been.

At their core, Fives are motivated by a must really feel competent, succesful, and in command of their surroundings. They concern being exhausted by others’ emotional or bodily wants, in order that they retreat into their minds, looking for safety by way of data and self-sufficiency. Fives usually imagine that in the event that they collect sufficient info and keep away from emotional entanglements, they will defend themselves from the chaos of the skin world.

Emotional Expression vs. Emotional Detachment

Fours are extremely attuned to their feelings and infrequently really feel them in deep, nuanced methods. They will expertise emotional highs and lows and should hunt down magnificence or that means of their emotions. Aesthetic experiences captivate them as a result of they unlock an interior emotion that may be explored. A luminous, starry evening would possibly transport them to emotions of oneness with the universe, or a way of smallness and insignificance. Each expertise, good or dangerous, unlocks a plethora of wealthy feelings that the 4 feels pushed to discover. Fours have a tendency to hunt out relationships the place they are often emotionally open and genuine. They’re delicate to abandonment and want validation that their feelings and individuality are understood and appreciated.

Fives, then again, are likely to detach from their feelings, preferring to research somewhat than really feel. They defend themselves from emotional overwhelm by holding their emotions non-public and underneath management. Whereas Fours need the prospect to precise their emotions brazenly, Fives usually tend to preserve theirs hidden, solely revealing them to a choose few who’ve earned their belief. As a substitute, they seek for mental readability and like to method feelings with warning and restraint.

Instance:
If a 4 and a 5 each undergo a troublesome breakup, the 4 would possibly take care of their heartbreak by way of artwork, writing, or deep conversations, craving catharsis by sharing their emotions. The 5, as a substitute, would possibly retreat into solitude, analyzing what went incorrect, and attempting to distance themselves from the emotional ache by specializing in sensible options or distractions.

Relationships: Emotional Depth vs. Mental Boundaries

Fours crave deep, emotionally intense relationships. They’re drawn to authenticity and should push for emotional honesty and vulnerability. The concept of being with somebody who retains issues hidden or isn’t being genuine with them is a nightmare to a 4. At instances, they could wrestle with emotions of envy in the event that they imagine others have the depth of connection or expertise they lengthy for. Typically, Fours oscillate between idealizing and devaluing their relationships, particularly once they really feel misunderstood.

Fives, in distinction, prioritize their independence in relationships. Whereas they will kind deep bonds, they have an inclination to wish extra private house and time to recharge than Fours do. Fives can really feel overwhelmed by others’ emotional wants and should set agency boundaries to guard their vitality. They method relationships with a way of warning and are cautious about who they let into their interior world. Fives desire mental companionship over emotional depth and should wrestle with vulnerability. I do know a 5 who has reduce off a number of relationships as a result of her companions appeared too needy, invasive, and overwhelming. After the relationships ended, she felt a way of reduction that she may retreat again into her cozy, introverted shell. At one level, a accomplice was attempting to get actually emotion

Strengths of Wholesome Enneagram 4s:

• Emotional Depth
• Creativity
• Empathy and Sensitivity
• Authenticity and Self-Expression
• Potential to seek out that means in even the exhausting elements of life

Strengths of Wholesome Enneagram 5s:

• Mental Curiosity
• Independence and Self-Sufficiency
• Analytical Pondering
• Calm and Composure in Anxious Conditions
• Potential to set boundaries and preserve vitality

Last Ideas: The right way to Inform Which Sort Matches You

If you happen to’re extra in contact together with your feelings, looking for deep, genuine connections, and really feel a relentless drive to precise your individuality, you’re possible extra of an Enneagram 4. You may be drawn to artwork, introspection, and meaning-making, with an underlying sense of eager for one thing that feels simply out of attain.

If, then again, you are feeling pushed to assemble data, defend your vitality, and preserve independence, you’re in all probability leaning extra towards Enneagram 5. You worth privateness and self-sufficiency, and also you would possibly really feel extra comfy in your personal thoughts, preferring mental pursuits over emotional depth.

Which sort resonates probably the most with you? Let me know within the feedback!

Different Articles You May Get pleasure from:

Enneagram 4: The Individualist

Enneagram 5: The Investigator

7 Struggles of the Enneagram 4 Sort

7 Struggles of the Enneagram 5 Sort