Enneagram 2 vs Enneagram 9: Which Are You?

In relation to Enneagram sorts, individuals can typically really feel torn between two sorts that appear related on the floor however have very completely different core motivations. I acquired a remark this week from a reader attempting to resolve whether or not she was extra 2 or 9. This can be a widespread query and one which I’ve gotten regularly as an Enneagram coach. On the floor, 2s and 9s can look very related; they’re each usually nurturing, empathetic, and delicate. However on the within, there are fairly a number of variations between these sorts!

Let’s take a better have a look at what makes these two sorts distinct so you’ll be able to work out which one resonates with you extra.

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How Enneagram 2s and 9s Are Completely different Sorts

One of many best methods to grasp the distinction between Twos and Nines is by taking a look at their facilities of intelligence—that is the lens by which they expertise the world.

Enneagram 2 is a part of the Coronary heart Triad.

This implies Twos are primarily pushed by emotions and relationships. They’ve an underlying wrestle with disgrace—the sense that they aren’t worthy of affection for who they’re until they’re being selfless or beneficiant. To take care of this, Twos focus their vitality on being useful, nurturing, and indispensable. Their internal voice tells them, “If I’m loving sufficient, individuals will love me in return, and I gained’t need to really feel ashamed or unworthy.”

Enneagram 9, however, belongs to the Physique Triad.

This group is pushed by intuition and a gut-level response to life. Nines grapple with anger, however not like the fiery, outward anger you may anticipate, Nines are likely to disconnect from their anger altogether. They need internal peace and concord, and anger looks like a risk to that. So, they suppress it. This may result in passive-aggressive behaviors or a quiet stubbornness. Often, when the anger has constructed up an excessive amount of, it could explode—however that’s uncommon.

Motivations: What Drives Every Kind?

At their core, Twos need to be beloved. They concern being unlovable, in order that they focus their vitality on making themselves indispensable and wanted. They need to be everybody’s confidante, the shoulder somebody cries on, the primary individual you consider once you attain to your telephone after a nasty breakup.

Nines, in the meantime, are motivated by a want for internal concord and peace. Battle feels disruptive and aggravating to them, in order that they do their finest to keep away from it, usually going with the move to keep up their calm. Their largest concern is that battle or stress will threaten their internal peace and trigger fragmentation or lack of relationships.

Instance: Image your self at a household dinner the place there’s a debate occurring. As an alternative of becoming a member of in or sharing your opinion, you simply sit again quietly, not desirous to “rock the boat.”

Self-Minimizing vs. Self-Aggrandizing

Nines are likely to decrease themselves. They don’t like taking on an excessive amount of area or imposing their opinions on others. This usually leads them to merge with the individuals round them, adopting their views, preferences, and targets in an effort to keep away from battle and maintain the peace. My mother is a 9 and at any time when there’s a battle she tends to get actually quiet, look away, and even lay down and attempt to sleep. She spoke to me about a whole lot of battle in her childhood, and through these instances she’d attempt to drown it out by singing songs to herself or daydreaming. She made a take care of herself that she’d by no means trigger battle as an grownup as a result of she by no means wished to trigger anybody else the ache she skilled in childhood. Whereas this can be a comparatively unhealthy manifestation of self-minimizing, it’s one which many Nines will relate to.

Instance: If your mates need to go to a restaurant you don’t like, you associate with it anyway since you don’t need to make a fuss, despite the fact that you’d want to go elsewhere.

Twos are the alternative—they amplify their presence. They need to be seen, beloved, and appreciated, and so they aren’t afraid to place themselves on the market to guarantee that occurs. This may result in them changing into overly concerned in different individuals’s lives, typically to the purpose of being intrusive. I’ve an excellent good friend who’s a Two, and she or he will likely be there the minute you want a serving to hand or a good friend to speak in confidence to. She’s a wholesome Two so she’s not doing it for a pat on the again or a ‘thanks’, however she’s shared about earlier instances in her life the place she struggled with people-pleasing and always checking to see if individuals had been acknowledging her efforts and reciprocating with optimistic affirmations.

Instance: You discover a good friend having a tough time, so you are taking it upon your self to get entangled, providing options and recommendation since you consider that’s what a loving individual ought to do.

Reactions to Loss and Rejection

Enneagram 9: When a 9 faces rejection, it might really feel like a affirmation of their worst concern: that they don’t actually matter. As a result of they usually challenge their sense of self onto others, shedding somebody can really feel like shedding part of themselves. As an alternative of confronting this sense head-on, they may withdraw even additional, quietly letting the connection slip away.

Instance: If a good friend pulls away, you may not chase after them or ask why. As an alternative, you may simply settle for it, telling your self that you just don’t need to trigger any hassle, despite the fact that deep down it hurts.

Enneagram 2: Twos, in contrast, actively search connection and will be deeply harm in the event that they really feel their efforts aren’t reciprocated. In the event that they sense rejection, it triggers their underlying disgrace, and so they could react by attempting even more durable to show their value—or by shutting down altogether to guard their satisfaction.

Instance: If a good friend doesn’t reply to your makes an attempt to assist or join, you may really feel a mixture of harm and frustration, considering, “In any case I’ve achieved, how can they not respect me?” It’s possible you’ll distance your self, however with an air of “I don’t want you anyway.”

Strengths of the Enneagram 2 and 9:

Strengths of Wholesome Enneagram 2s:

• Empathy and Compassion
• Generosity
• Relationship-Constructing
• Loyalty
• Emotional Perception
• Selflessness

Strengths of Wholesome Enneagram 3s:

• Calm and Peaceable Presence
• Accepting and Non-Judgmental
• Adaptability
• Endurance
• Supportive and Reassuring
• Resilience

Last Thought: How one can Inform Which Kind Matches You

If you end up extra centered on sustaining internal peace and avoiding battle, you’re probably extra of an Enneagram 9. It’s possible you’ll really feel like your wants or opinions don’t matter as a lot, and you like to maintain issues low-key to protect your sense of calm.

If, however, you are feeling pushed by the necessity to be beloved and wanted, and also you usually exit of your strategy to be sure you’re indispensable and beneficiant, you’re most likely leaning extra towards Enneagram 2. You might need a powerful want to assist and be acknowledged to your efforts, and rejection or unappreciation can hit exhausting.

Each sorts are deeply compassionate and caring, however their approaches to relationships and self-worth have some fairly main variations. Which sort do you assume suits you finest?

Different Articles You Would possibly Get pleasure from:

10 Indicators of an Unhealthy Enneagram 2

21 Indicators That You’re an Enneagram 2 Kind

21 Indicators That You’re an Enneagram 9 Kind

7 Struggles of the Enneagram 9 Kind

 

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